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Sunday, April 11, 2010

my fault .

bad thing hapened to me .
let me elaborate .
i was saying " boring ! no top up in hp !"
mama said "i give u school money , why never buy !"
i said " i save money because want to pay school money !"
mama , shout .
and papa ran to me and punched me at my mouth !
blood was all over the carpark .
i was crying in pain
i just said that sentence and he punched me hard !
he said i embarassed my parents infront of aunties .
i cried and cried .
went to teh tarik .
all my family eat , except me ,.
i cant drink nor eat !
damn pain !
its swallon badly !
now , alone at home , crying non stop .
blood cant stop coming out from that noon .
i cant swallow food . tried drinking , but just a little bit .
want or dont want , i had to face all this thing .
its my fault ?
idk !
i had not eaten since fetching faiz from boys home .
tomorrow , mum sending me to the doctor .
or if in the morning , the swallon had recover abit , i go to sch .
my lips is blue black .
around my jaw is swallon ,!
i pray hard , this pain will fade away !
i seriously pray .
i had learnt my mistake .
I HAD .
To my parents : Im sorry for what i had done .
but what i said is true , u guys had no money to give me to pay my books and class tee .
i had to save money .
im more embarassed when you punched me DAD !
i really do .
blood was all over place .
You want to kill me is it ?
I love you guys , but u guys never think of what i faced now .
you whack me .
but not my bro .
although he's 19 .
and he's a boy !
IM A GIRL !

A GIRL !
you treat me as if im a boy who is strong .
u could just slapped but why punched ?
WHY ?
aunty wanted to bring me to hospital , u said DONT NEED , JUST LEAVE IT LIKE THAT !
why ?!
aunties who the one , helping me , 6 packets of tissues , covered with blood .

and tears .
you and mum busy chit chatting , you drive , as if nothing happened , but you heard im crying in pain !
BRO , whack me before , but he comfort me after that /
he hug me ,
but you ?
you kept showing face to me .
you kept scolding me .
at least , when we reached home , mum advice me and hug me ,
but you ?
you just walk off like that .
i was infront of you , and you said to mum " SHE DONT WANT FOLLOW ? "
"SHE"
never look at my swallon face that were caused by YOU !
walk off like that .
never called home asking what im doing .
atleast mum did .
i cant eat .
i cant talk properly .
are you happy DAD ?
you just dun care !
you just dont !
how am i going to go school ?
with my swallon face.
people ask , what i suppose to say ?
fell down ?
i wont say u beat me up till like that because  i love you .
i dont wnat my friend to say , i had bad parents .
who whack me till like this .
what if my teacher ask ?
say fell down also ?
i wont say you beat me up ,
i dont you to get in trouble ,
you said before ,
if i whack my children till something serious happened , i go in prison also nehmind ,
becaue im satisfied !
i still remember that .

i still.
now , im just bearing with the pain .
i cant even open my mouth big .
are u happy now ?!
i guess you are !)':

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